Yo, My Beloved Homepeeps!
It’s Kelly Russell from the Teachers of God Foundation. As some of you may know, I have just recently moved to a new home. I am so very grateful for this beautiful space – I’m calling it my Barbie dream house! I have crazy big and boundless appreciation for all of my angels – seen and unseen – who held the vision of my new place finding me and helped me to embody it.
Having said that – I have to say that it was a really interesting process to move residences twice in just over a year. (I know, right? Wtf?!) Not only that, but since both times my new home was not available for a month, my possessions went off to live in storage for a while and I spent the interim staying with my boyfriend and with friends. So, technically, I moved four times in about 13 months. (My friend Amy says I’m a professional mover.)
I was never so conscious of how much f*cking stuff I had until I had to pack it all up in boxes, unpack it, figure out where it was all going to go – and then pack it all back up again, unpack it, and figure out where it was all going to go again.
But out of the forgiveness opportunities that presented themselves while moving my worldly ass around like it was my job, I unearthed a really powerful insight, which is my topic for today: how similar our attachment to our possessions is to our attachment to our beliefs.
In fact, our possessions are actually just representative of our beliefs.
This entire endeavor has inspired me to give a lot of consideration to Workbook lesson 2 of A Course in Miracles, “I have given everything I see all the meaning that it has for me”.
So what exactly does it all mean?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not dissing my stuff, or the idea of having it. I love my stuff. There are things with sentimental value, beautiful gifts people have given me, the thing I bought from that one time when I traveled to somewhere with whomever, and every time I see it I’m reminded of them and the fun we had.
There are things that belonged to those I love who are no longer in the world, and things that remind me of the me I once was. There are fancy things I don’t know if I will ever wear again, but I want to, so I keep them.
There are souvenirs from past relationships, a 12,000- pound trunk full of family photos and journals (which I hope I have enough of a heads-up to burn before I leave up out this world!), and a drill and some tools I have no idea how to use but it makes me feel a little bit badass to have them.
(And I’m saying this after I purged the bejesus out of my stuff prior to move #1.)
I’m not feeling guilty about my possessions or shaming myself for having them. They are the ephemera of a life. These things, in large part, represent aspects of my earthly identity. But I have given them all of the meaning they have for me. Outside of my mind’s interpretation they don’t mean anything.
But this experience of interacting with each thing is allowing me to see their meaning differently. Having wrapped them up and put them away for a month or two and lived without them – holding them in my hands now and looking at them with fresh eyes, I’m able to observe them with a little more discernment. I’m noticing that not everything is going to work in the new space. Some things I just don’t have need of any longer. They don’t feel right, or no longer fit, or aren’t aligned with who I am now. They are tired, or worn, and when I ask myself why I’m keeping them the answer feels like scarcity, or guilt, or obligation, which are just forms of fear.
Well, f-that. I’m realizing what a replication this is of exactly what happens with our emotional baggage – our thoughts and beliefs.
It comes time to move into the dwelling place of a new experience – a relationship, a job, a pandemic… and here we go dragging all of our crap into it. The boxes and bins and bags of our histories – emphasis on the stories – which we identify with even more strongly than we do our material possessions.
So often in getting ready to bust a move out of an old situation, we don’t consciously sort through our expectations and thought patterns, and the underlying beliefs that they are based on, before packing them up moving into a new one. We don’t look at them and consider what is worth holding onto or not and why. They’re like the boxes in the attic and basement that contain God knows what but we still move them from place to place without looking to see what’s inside. (Or am I the only one who has done that?)
When I moved a year ago from the place I lived in for 11 years, I had to experience a shift in my mindset. I was moving from a town I had resided in for 19 years to an area I adored that was in a different state. I really wanted to make the change, but in order to do it I had to be willing to leave some baggage filled with self-limiting beliefs on the curb.
As fast as I was working to release these things, however, my ego mind was busy dragging all of my sh*t out of the trash and trying to recycle it back into my mind at about the same pace. The inner monologue was the same kind we have when we are sorting through our possessions: Should I let this go? But it’s part of me. I’ve had it forever. What if I need it at some point in the future? Who will I be without it? This has been with me for so long. I’m afraid I am letting go of a part of myself. What if it’s the only one like it in the Universe and I can’t ever find a replacement?
Except that instead of it being that hot dress I rocked but am never going to fit back into and I feel bad when I happen across it, or that 25 year-old sofa that served me well for a long time but has earned it’s retirement, for the love of God; or the thing someone I love gave me but it’s not right for me and I felt too guilty to let it go – what I was hoarding were beliefs about myself so that I would have to stay in the same place.
When I got into my new home last year the expansion of that gave me permission to continue letting go of more self-sabotaging beliefs and their resulting behaviors. Like, on day one.
Literally the day after I moved in, I unpacked so much more stuff that I no longer wanted or needed that I took four trips to Goodwill with my car crammed completely full (including an enormous 1,000 pound, 30-year-old ironing board that nearly took out my windshield and the guy in front of me.)
I loved the idea that I was releasing the stuff I no longer needed to Goodwill – the definition of which the dictionary informs me is “benevolence and kindness” – so in my mind it’s actually Godwill.
As I examined and repurposed and recycled my possessions, I did the same with a lot of unhelpful thought patterns.
Playing small. Believing in limitation. Doubting my ability. Thinking I had nothing to say, or that I would fail. In order to move into a more expanded place I had to pack up a lot of those ideas and let them go so that I could remember that God created me – and all of my bros – to play BIG as an extension of His perfect Love. Eternally unlimited, with God-given abilities. A channel for His words to be spoken through me, which in itself guarantees that I will not fail.
Here are some of the hidden beliefs I have unpacked and given to Godwill – some over the years, and some during my more recent trips. In releasing them, I have witnessed a huge transformation in so many areas of my life:
- I can’t go back to school, earn a Master’s degree, and change careers in my 40s.
- I can’t live alone. Or enjoy it.
- I won’t be successful at being self-employed.
- I will never be financially responsible.
- I have to accept everyone as a client, whether we are a fit or not.
- I am not a good enough writer to blog.
- I will always be in debt.
- I am not enough of an expert to be a transformational coach.
- I have to share a home with my partner in order to have a good relationship.
- I am not really a spiritual teacher because I have nothing new to say.
- Financial abundance and stability are not available to me.
- I can’t do what I love and have the life that I desire.
- I’m not an advanced enough student to teach A Course in Miracles.
- I can’t be too visible.
- Who am I to shine?
- Who do I think I am?
When I think about all of the ego-belief baggage I unpacked and sent to that big recycling center in the sky between last year and now, and what amazing opportunities, abundance, experiences, and adventures flowed in to fill that space – it is actually no wonder that I found myself in the position of having to move again. It was as if the place I lived in for a year was a way-station between where I had been stuck for a long time and where I was headed. I was being asked to show up in a bigger way – in a house, in my own life, and in the world. This second time there was both a powerful call toward and a great deal of resistance pulling back from allowing myself to grow to a greater degree. I had to give myself permission to be in the place I really desired to live in, not the one I kept trying to convince myself I should accept. This applied not only to my material home, but to my state of mind.
Being willing to step into receiving what we are asking for requires us to let go of everything in our minds that is standing in the way of it. It’s kind of a riff on, “Be careful what you wish for” except it’s more like, “Be ready for it.”
I’ve been in my new space for three weeks now. As I open the boxes in my house and in my mind, as I continue to see where things go or to let things go, I have such gratitude for the lessons this entire process have revealed to me.
In the rearranging of where I want my possessions to be, I am shown where Spirit wants me to be. As I see where my things will serve me best, I am guided to where I will best serve. My releasing of what no longer holds value for me creates the space for what is precious and priceless to rush on in.
And the Barbie dream house I trusted Spirit to lead me to is one move closer to waking up from the dream altogether, in my Father’s house that I never in reality left.
So, whatcha gonna do with all that junk in your trunk? What beliefs are hidden away in your attic and basement that are keeping you stuck? What have you been unwilling to unpack? What are you ready to look at, to see differently, to let go of?
*There was a video here, but no link for it*
Where do you want to live? In a house built on the shifting sands of the ego’s thought system or in one built on the rock of knowing that you are a perfect ray of the Light of Spirit, meant to shine as brilliantly as you were meant to?
If you have not yet purchased the All Access Pass from the Pure Presence Summit that took place a few weeks ago, and you want some help with illuminating the contents of what is stored your mind, consider giving yourself this gift.
There is so much wisdom, so many useful tools, and such amazing inspiration in these awesome recordings that can help you in your process of unearthing and discerning what to let go of and what to keep.
There are also special bonuses included for All Access Passholders – one of which is a free 4-hour workshop that I am offering on October 24, 2020 entitled, “Creating Miraculous Relationships: Rocking Bigass Love with Others, Yourself, and God”. This event is only available for those with an All Access Pass, so if you’d like to attend, get your pass here:
Once you have purchased the pass, follow the email instructions for how to access the Bonus Area where you can find the link to register for my workshop, as well as all of the other awesome bonus offerings. I’d love to have you join me!
Thank you so much for being present with me at my virtual unpacking party today in my new crib. I love you for being in the ‘Hood of infinite Love with me and being the light that illuminated my path to it.
Won’t you be my neighbor?
Rev Kelly Russell,
The Rock Your Joy Coach